The New Man's Home
We (Or for most parts of the world that is) have celebrated Mother's Day last month and Father's Day on Sunday, celebrating two very special people in our lives - the mothers and the fathers.
Coincidentally, I was reading a Bible Study guide/ note on strengthening marriages, by Denise Renner, called School of Cinderella these past two weeks. And it has got me reflecting on the Christian home and the relationships within - the Christian husband, wife, father, mother and children.
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| Source: Internet |
There are tons of good biblical material, teachings and courses out there on marriages. Not to mention, pre-marital course, which most churches have made a compulsory criteria prior to tying the knot.
To be completely honest though, my husband and I didn't exactly went through the pre-marital course as how couples would normally do (classes and sessions with relevant church personnel and all), considering that both of us were in two separate states (Terengganu and Sarawak) at the time and getting married in an entirely different state (Sabah)! We did what we could, to the best that we could. 😂
And perhaps that was part of the reason why I felt unprepared.
(Then again, is anyone ever completely prepared for marriage? Isn't marriage similar to parenting where no amount of knowledge will prepare you for the reality? Haha! You just become (a husband/ a wife/ a father/ a mother) as you become one.)
And so, in the early years of our marriage, from time to time, I would find myself feeling weighed down by the scriptures depicting what a Christian wife should be like - the virtuous wife in Proverbs 31 and the wife in Ephesians 5:22, in Colossians 3:18 and in 1 Peter 3.
It was as though I know how I should be and what I should do (the Scripture is clear and straightforward). But I either didn't know how to do it or I couldn't do it (it had felt really difficult and impossible to fulfill all that the Bible calls a wife to be and do 😓).
Of course, all of that changed after having received a revelation of who I am in Christ.
I became a better me. I became a better Irene in every area and in every relationship in my life. A better daughter, a better mother and of course, a better wife. (That is a God story in itself, which I will write about at another time.)
But that does not mean I am now a Prov 31 or Eph 5 or Col 3 or 1 Pet 3 wife already. Sadly but unfortunately.
When I stumbled upon this bible study notes few months ago, although I felt led to study it, I never did start. But the Holy Spirit kept tugging at me. 😅
So, in the end, I obeyed and started reading. And when I got to this page, I understood why He had wanted me to read it.
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| School of Cinderella by Denise Renner |
Let's read Col 3:12-21, shall we?
13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
It was as though I had read Col 3 for the first time.
Indeed, immediately after telling the elect of God (which includes the wives, husbands, children, fathers in Col 3:18-21) who have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him (Col 3:10) all the characters of the new man, the Apostle Paul gave instructions for the Christian home.
Reading what Denise Renner said about 'putting emphasis on walking as a born-again believer successfully (Col 3:12-17), and then the order will come to our homes more readily' was a light bulb moment for me.
Truly, we are, each of us, a new man in Christ - as a husband and/ or father, as a wife and/ or mother, we are a new man in Christ.
And as new man, the elect of God, we are called to put on all the godly qualities, to bear and to forgive, to put on love, to let the peace of God rule in our hearts, to let the Word of Christ dwell richly in us, to do and say everything in the name of the Lord, giving thanks to God through Christ.
To put it simply, God has already showed us how to have a blessed marriage and home.
- Know that we have put on the new man and are now the elect of God, holy and beloved (Col 3:10, 12)
- Follow the instructions given in the Bible (not just Col 3:12-17)
- Have a heart of thanksgiving to our Abba Father (Col 3:17)
- Have Christ in the centre (Col 3:17)
A dear sister in Christ said this to me, "There is no need to attend many marriage courses. If we can follow all the simple instructions in His word, God, our promise keeper will see that we are blessed in our marriage and family life." How true this is!
Beloved in Christ, especially my sisters in Christ, I pray that what I've shared with you here will bring some revelation and encouragement to you.
Know that you are a new (wo)man in Christ.
Know that it is God's will for every new (wo)man to have a blessed marriage and blessed home!
Know that God has already instructed us and given us what we need to have that blessed marriage and home.
Above all, know that it is not so much about being a good husband/ wife and ticking off the to-do in the Biblical husband/ wife checklist, than being a new man/ woman in Christ (read Col 1, 2 and 3).
Therefore, let us not merely put our focus on being a good husband/ wife, but rather let us focus on being the new man and woman that we are in Christ.
Being a godly husband and a virtuous wife will then come (more) easily.
You see, it really isn't about resolving character differences or addressing disagreements or meeting needs or working on marriage issues etc. etc. to have a wonderful, blessed home.
As Col 3:10 (NLT) tells us to put on our new nature, and be renewed as we learn to know our Creator and become like Him, we are also told in Col 3:11 that in this new life, Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.
Dear ones in Christ, would you read again Col 3 verse 12 to 17 (characters of the new man)? And then verse 18 to 21 (God's order for the home)?
I would like to invite you to join me in reading Col 3, embracing it and outworking it until we see the new man's home become a permanent reality in our home.
Ours is the new man's home! Hallelujah!
