My Kuching God Story: Part 3 - The Story of a Pipe

When I first started writing my Kuching God story, I hadn't planned on writing about objects - cup and rubber band and what not. 😂 (But somehow, under the hand of the Holy Spirit, it just came naturally.)

I told of my cup and my rubber band story previously, of how these 2 objects/ analogies described me and my situation so aptly. Or so I thought. 

Because, apparently, that was not how God see or think of me. 

(If, when you were reading my stories, you felt like you can relate to the cup and rubber band, I am convicted and convinced that that is not how God see and think of you. You will see why.)

I am not a cup, neither am I a rubber band. 

I am a pipe. 

How did this revelation come to me? Well, the Wednesday night after my Sunday breakthrough (the moment where I was able to, from the heart, forgive and reconcile with my mum) was Regional Night. 

Note: Regional Night is a bi-monthly night where those who are leading or assisting in a Connect Group (what churches usually call CG) gather together for a night of worship and impartation. 

So, during that Wednesday Regional Night, our pastor, Ps. Mark Varughese gave this analogy of cup vs pipe. 

He said that often in leading a connect group, leaders may feel tired or drained because of the many baggages and demands of different people under them. And he likened it to being like a cup. If you recall my cup story, you would know what I meant - a cup goes to God to be filled, then is poured out and emptied of whatever is inside of it. And then it needs to go and be refilled again. 

Ps Mark had with him, a glass (which symbolised a cup) and a transparent hollow cylinder (which symbolised a pipe) and he contracted this analogy of a cup and a pipe. 

When we are ministering to others, we are not cups that always empty out and need to be repeatedly replenished or refilled; but we are a pipe where His life, His grace, His love flows through effortlessly. 

When we are a pipe, caring, loving and ministering to the needs of those under our care is not tiring. Because what flows in and through and out of the pipe is God's love, grace, wisdom and power. 

Whatever it is, whether it is love, prayer, godly counsel, or help, it simply comes from God, flows through us and is channeled out from us to the brother/ sister who needs it. 

Well, Ps Mark was speaking about leading and caring for a group of small community in Christ that night. And it did speak to me with regards to my serving in this area. So, I didn't think any further of it. 

Until the next day (again, so God-incidentally) where I had a scheduled meet with my pastor, Ps. Fiona, whom we all call Ps Fi, to review my GH journey.  

I was sharing about my small breakthrough in reconciling with my mum. 

(Yes, that is the other side of my Kuching God story - not only was I able to forgive and shed off my bitterness, my relationship with my mum has 'magically' improved so much in just that 1 week, that it could only be because of God. That will be for another story.)

During our conversation, Ps Fi discerned and helped me to see the spiritual root of why I had felt hurt by my mum in the first place. It was a light bulb moment for me! 

In GH, we learned about 'residual pain' which we unknowingly carry with us into our adulthood (for some, for the rest of our lives). We were taught how to identify and receive healing from these residual pains. 

Here I was thinking that I had dealt with all of my residual pains but turned out that there was still one buried deep within. 😂 

The Holy Spirit showed me that this un-dealt with residual pain was the reason why the tension with my mum comes in cycle. 

Because of this residual pain, there was a soul tie between me and my mum, which I had never realised. Because of this soul tie, I had craved (unhealthily and un-Christly) for an acknowledgement from my mum. 

And so, even when things would improve after a breakthrough, the cycle would begin again after a while. I would feel hurt by things she said or did. And it would affect me negatively. I would then go to God again and had breakthrough (again). Only for the cycle to repeat itself (again) few months down the road. 😔 To say that it was tiring is an understatement. 

But after Ps Fi pointed this hidden residual pain and soul tie out plainly to me, I saw it for what it really was and, just like that, a literal heaviness was lifted off me. 

I felt so light and so free! And I felt joy bursting out from my being! 

You know what the Bible says about 'proclaim liberty to the captives' or 'set at liberty those who are oppressed' (Isa 61:1 & Luke 4:18) and 'the truth shall make you free' (John 8:32)? 

I was once a captive and oppressed (in so many areas of my life). 

But Christ has come to make me free. 

And the Holy Spirit, through His anointed ministers, dealing with my captive areas one by one, proclaimed liberty to me with His truth. 

His truth make me free. 

Because of that, I can now walk in my true and complete freedom. 

I remember half crying, half laughing while trying to digest and describe to Ps what was happening to me (boy, it must have been a messy sight 😂). 

I can't remember what I said exactly but these words just came out of my mouth (Yes, I still remember this word for word) - "It's like the Holy Spirit was telling me that I am not a... "

I remember myself stopping short without finishing the sentence. I went silent (possibly stunned 😂) at this revelation. And my Ps finished my sentence for me - not a cup! 

I am not a cup. 

Source: Internet

I am a pipe! 

I don't need to go for refill, I don't need to empty myself out, I don't need to keep going for refilling. I simply need to be the pipe that God has designed me to be. 

And let God flow. 

The source is from God. 

The substance is of God.

The outflow is from God. 

From God, in me, through me, out to my mum (in this scenario). 

And in all other things, it is the same. 

From God, in me, through me, out to all those around me. 

Beloved in Christ, I know today's story is a bit long (Haha, so are all my other stories 😂.) But I felt the need to be as detailed as possible. 

Because when the Holy Spirit gets to work, He is gentle, creative, effective and thorough. I know that the Holy Spirit orchestrated very single event and every single conversation to:

1) Make my heart right.

I had to first be cleansed from my un-forgiveness. Yes, our Father loves me, but He does not only go after me to shower me with love, He pursues my purity. He pursues my Christlikeness. He pursues my heart. 

2) Unveil the lies that has kept me captive.

Again, the enemy only has a few tricks up his sleeve. One of it is by using lies and deception. I was, sadly, held captive by the lie of my pain. And even sadder is the fact that I couldn't see it. 😔 Because of that, I lived under bondage of this perpetual cycle of hurt-bitter-breakthrough-hurt-bitter-breakthrough. 

But once the Holy Spirit lifted the veil off my eyes, I can now see clearly. 

3) Reveal truth.

Once the lies were busted, the Holy Spirit can now shine light into my darkness. I can now see the truth, God's truth. 

And when God's light come in, there is no more darkness. There can be no more darkness. 

4) Proclaim and set at liberty.

I felt led to read what the prophet Isaiah prophesied in Isa 61:1 and what Jesus said in Luke 4:18. As I read, something jumped out at me. Not so much the things that were said, rather the sequence of it. 

I know it isn't meant this way, but I see the application of this verse in me as like a chain reaction: 

I have the gospel preached to me and so I believe in Christ. 

Christ then come to heal my broken heart (and my brokenness). All of it. 

When I am healed, Christ can then proclaim liberty to my captivity and recovery of sight to my blinded-ness. 

(Thayer definition for the Greek word translated proclaim 'kērussō' means 1) to be a herald, always with a suggestion of formality and authority which must be listened to and obeyed. 2) to publish, proclaim openly: something which has been done.)

I can now be set at liberty. 

5) Make me fully and truly free. 

And hallelujah! I AM set at liberty. 

I am now truly free and fully free in this area of captivity. 

I can now stand fast and walk in the liberty by which Christ has made me free (Gal 5:1). 

I can be the pipe that God has made me to be. Where He can flow freely and fully, in and through me. No brokenness, no captivity, no blinded-ness, no oppression, no blockage, no hindrance. 

Beloved in Christ, I pray that you can see this truth - that you and I, we are God's pipe. 

Our source, our substance, our outflow - from Christ, of Christ and in Christ. 

May we be set at liberty and live unto fullness of God!