Motherhood - Part 2 (Doors to the Cellar)

I wrote about 'dying to self' yesterday, in the sense of letting go of my ideal in the area of motherhood. You can read it here.

Yesterday, as I was reflecting and penning down all that had taken place that Saturday, the Lord brought this memory to my mind. A vision I had during a church conference I attended last year. 

I saw this vision repeatedly over the 4 days conference. 

The first time I saw the vision, I saw the doors to an underground outdoor cellar opening up. First the left door, then the right door. I was looking at it from afar. Yet somehow, I knew that there are dead, dark things inside it. Now, I don't mean dead creatures, zombies or monsters or the like. I don't have the words to describe them correctly but I shall try. Those dead, dark things are the things in my heart that are not alive. Yes, I instinctively knew that cellar represented my heart. 

At the second conference session, again I saw the same vision, yet slightly differently. This time, I saw it from inside the cellar. It was dark. And light was shining in in a few spots, here and there. 

At the third conference session, I remember hearing the pastor praying on stage, "The heaven doors are wide opened." Or something along that line. And instantly I heard it in my Spirit man. "The doors of heaven are wide opened. Now open wide your cellar doors so that light can come in." I saw the cellar doors opening and blinding bright light shining into the cellar from outside, from above. 

And then I was inside the cellar. Now the entire cellar was lit up. It was bright, it was yellow gold, it was warm. And I basked in it. 

I remember laughing and crying, all at the same time, as I came out of that bright warm cellar vision. 

Source: Internet

Now this is not what I saw in my vision, obviously. But it is the closest image I could find from the internet. A cellar adjacent to a wall. Door opened (My doors were less brown, slightly more grey tone). And of course, there wasn't any pot of pink flowers in my vision. 😂 But I hope you get the picture. 

(Alas, I am not a painter. Otherwise, I would have attempted to paint my vision.)

I know the Lord was showing me that there is an underground cellar in my heart. Doors to the cellar shut tight and locked, hiding away things dark and dead. (Again, not eerie creepy scary dark and dead. I define them to be all things not alive in the Lord.)

But the vision is also a gentle call from my Lord to me, to open the doors. And a promise of what is to come when I do so. 

For weeks after the conference, I was elated. But as time passed, life and routine took over. And I had, frankly, quite forgotten about the vision. Until yesterday. 

As I wrote these words - As I opened up the dark, hidden part of my self, His light shines in and breathes life within. And just like that, the light comes in, the dark gone - the vision of the glowing cellar came to mind. 

Beloved in Christ, there was an underground cellar in my heart, locked away and hidden from everyone's sight. But not from the Lord. He knew. He saw. He understood. And He did not force the doors open. 

Inside that cellar, there are things that are not fully alive, because they are not fully the Lord's (yet). There are things that are not in the light. 

Do you have such a cellar? Would you open the doors and bring out the things hidden deep within? Could it be a hurt? A disappointment? An offence? An ambition? A dream? A sin? I don't know what it is for you, only you and the Lord know. 

And there is also a possibility that, maybe, only the Lord knows what it is. Because you have hidden it so well, even from yourself. 

But you know what Psa 139 tells us? 

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

The night shines as the day for our Lord Jesus Christ. The darkness and the light are both alike to Him. 

Our darkness does not hide from Him. He shines as the day even in the darkest of our night. 

Beloved, if there ever is a cellar in your heart, open its doors. Open it up to the One Who gives light. Open it up to the One Who sets free. Open it up to the One Who gives life. Open it up to the One Who loves you. 

Open your cellar to Jesus. And see Him breathe life within.