Who am I?

I would like to ask you a simple question - who are you? 

It really is the most basic and essential question in life, isn't it? Well, at least it's the most fundamental question concerning our being in this world. 

Most people, if not everyone, seek and search for the answer to this question all their life. 

I know I did. Questions like who am I? What is my purpose in life? What is the purpose of life? Is there a God out there? And with so many religions existing in the world, is the "Tua Pek Kong" whom my parents worshipped the God? 

And then, there's the big question - Who is God? 

(Please tell me that you asked these questions too.)

I accepted Christ when I was 24. So, a long 24 years of searching. 

But, the funny part is that even after knowing God and becoming a Christian, some of these questions remained unanswered or unclear. 

I love God, I (tried to) spend quiet time everyday, I read the Bible (although not diligently, I have to admit 😂), I prayed (both in words and in tongue), I praised and I worshipped (I love singing), I attended church, I attended cell group (connect group, care group, cell group or whatever the church that I attended may call them), I served, I went through trials and tests and (hopefully) grew through them... It was a long list, I could go on and on describing all the things that I did or did not do. 

Well, in short, I was like a Christian. I mean, I was a Christian. Wait, I mean I was and (still) am a Christian. 

So, I did all the things that a Christian would do and are encouraged to do. But those questions still pressed in my heart, with the loudest question being "Who am I"? 

Source: Internet

I know it sounds ironic, but that is the truth. 

I was at the peak of my "lostness" about 2 years ago. Yes, you read it correctly. 2 years ago, when I'm nearing middle age, when I was already a mother of 2. When I should have gotten everything all figured out, being an old Christian (both in real age as well as in Christian age). 

But, the truth remains - contrary to what one would expect of an "old" Christian - I was even more lost (and depressed and unfulfilled) than before I found Christ. 

And then, the most amazing and grace-filled thing happened. 

When I hit rock bottom, that did not limit God. God not only met me there, He lifted me up, cleaned up the mess that I was and has worked a beautiful transformation in me ever since. 

I am still Irene. But I was no longer who I was. 

I have not arrived at where God would want me to be. But I was no longer where I was. 

My motivation for starting this blog was to tell my story. My God story. 

A story about a lost girl growing up into a lost young woman and then into a lost woman/ wife/ mother. 

I believe there are many more stories like mine unfolding out there everyday. Does your story resonate with mine? Are you that lost girl/ boy? Perhaps, you are no longer a child but are still as lost? Or maybe you have struggled in seasons of lostness, time and again? Or you could be lost and do not even know it. 

No matter the answer, I would like to, again, throw out this important question: Who you are? Beyond your name, your surname, your family, your personality, your passion, your character, your work, your ministry, your calling...

How about me, you asked? If you would like to know my answer to that question, you can find it in my blog description as well as in my first blog entry, Irene In Christ?. In Christ, I am. I have. I can. I do. 

Those who are close to me will have heard me repeating this statement countless times - My identity is in Christ. My security is in Christ. My confidence is in Christ. My purpose is in Christ. My fullness is in Christ. I am in Christ. 

I'll attempt to write more about my God story in my following posts. May it encourages and edifies you. 


Having said that, I would like to borrow the Apostle Paul's words in Phil 3:12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. (NKJV)

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. (NLT)

I admit that I haven’t yet acquired the absolute fullness that I’m pursuing, but I run with passion into his abundance so that I may reach the purpose for which Christ Jesus laid hold of me to make me his own. (TPT)

So it is with me - I have not attained. I am not perfected yet. I press on. I lay hold of all that - perfection, absolute fullness, abundance, purpose -  for which Jesus has laid hold of me. 

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