Motherhood - Part 5 (You Are Mine)
Again, today's post is related to my previous motherhood God stories. (Yup, this year's Mother's Day was full of reflections for me.)
I wrote about my need to die to my 'ideal' here, reflecting on what the Lord showed me about grieving and letting go of my ideal picture when it comes to motherhood.
On that Saturday, as I was grieving, I emptied myself of that ideal.
It wasn't an easy afternoon for me, as I allowed the Holy Spirit to do a deep work in my heart. And I suppose the Lord knows it and in His gracious love for me, He sent a word in season for me through a brother in Christ.
But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are Mine.
I encourage you to read this wonderful message: You Are Mine.
I read it and instantly knew...It was a word from my Lord to me.
He was telling me - Daniel is Mine, just rest in Me.
Funny how as I released and let go of all that I had held dear, held tight and refused to let go, even hiding it away from the Lord, there was such a freedom.
It was the Lord's doing - In place of what He evicted out of my heart, He filled it with something far better: His Word, His grace. He fills my heart up with Him.
That Saturday itself, the Lord met me, delivered me from my hidden oppression and fear. And gave me a renewed word for my son.
That is how good my God is.
But it didn't end there.
The next day was Mother's Day Sunday. The children were to have a stage performance (along with all the other Sunday school children). I wrote about how Daniel had refused to go on-stage and then ended up being saddened by his own decision. Read it here.
Following the episode of my boy crying after seeing us cheering Esther on stage, I had a talk with the two of them.
That evening, in bed, I asked them this funny question.
"There were so many children in church this morning, some on the stage and some on the seats. Who do you think mummy love? Which children do you think mummy love?"
To which they both answered correctly - "Us!" 😆 (Praise the Lord!)
I replied, "Yes, you are both right. Out of the many many many children today, I love Daniel and Esther. With all my heart. Mummy may like and mummy may sayang all the other children but there are only 2 that I love with all my heart. And these 2 children are you!"
And then I asked if they know why. As in why, of all the children, I love only the two of them.
To which they answered, "Because we are yours!"
And these words came out of my mouth - I love you because you are mine, Daniel and Esther.
As I uttered these words, what I had read just the day before came to mind.
My Abba Father reminded me that night of this one truth, in so many layers.
I am His.
Daniel is His.
Esther is His.
He loves me.
He loves Daniel.
He loves Esther.
Just as He loves me with an everlasting love because I am His. Just as I love my children because they are mine. He loves Daniel because he is His. He loves Esther because she is His.
Truly, Daniel and Esther are loved not because of their achievements or excellence. My love for them is simply because they are mine.
In the same way, I am loved not because of how good I am or how much I do. (And it never will be.) God's love for me is simply because I am His.
The same applies to my children. They are loved by God because they are His.
As I reminded my children of my love for them and of the truth that they are mine, my God reminded me of so many things at the same time.
Of His love for me.
Of His love for Daniel.
Of His love for Esther.
That night, I heard the Lord whispering this intertwined truth - I love you because you are Mine. You are Mine because I love you.
Oh, what beautiful words! You are Mine. I love you.
As I lie down in bed that night reflecting on the Mother's Day weekend that had just passed, I whispered in my heart, "Yes Lord, You are mine too. And I love You."
Beloved in Christ, can you hear the Lord?
He is saying, "You are Mine. I love you."
