The P in the PBT - Paul
I'm sorry for the long gap between this post and my last post but please know that this long gap has been a good and fruitful gap.
Though that will be another God story for another day. For now, let's get back to our PBT. (OK, now, if you're wondering what PBT is, nope, it's not Peanut Butter Toast. 😅)
I wrote about P (Paul) B (Barnabas) T (Timothy) in my earlier post. You can refresh your memory here if you would like to. 😁
Today, I would like to speak about my Paul.
Let us first take a look at the opening address of the 2 epistles from apostle Paul to Timothy in 1 Timothy and 2 Timothy.
In 1 Timothy, the apostle Paul wrote: Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ, by the commandment of God our Savior and the Lord Jesus Christ, our hope, To Timothy, a true son in the faith:
In 2 Timothy, the apostle Paul wrote: Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, according to the promise of life which is in Christ Jesus, To Timothy, a beloved son:
In his letters, he called Timothy this - a true son, a beloved son. So we can deduce that apostle Paul was like a father to Timothy, a spiritual father, so to say.
In the same way, I can say that my Paul is my spiritual mentor, my teacher in the things of God, my spiritual father.
Now, I cannot tell the story of how I met my spiritual parents without first retelling my wilderness and Jonah stories.
I was to go to Kerteh (a small town in Terengganu) right after I graduated, in 2005. Now, if you recall my Jonah story, you would know that I did not go.
I say 'I was to go to' because I was posted there. And I say 'posted' because, well, I was bonded for the scholarship I received during my tertiary studies. So, in a way, I sort of had to go.
The few weeks after graduation, I felt/ knew/ had a hunch (now I know it was the Holy Spirit's prompting) that I would be offered a position in Kerteh. Where is this Kerteh? And why Kerteh? It is an unheard of small (mostly Muslim populated) town in the middle of nowhere. What's more, my late grandfather had just passed away. In his dying last moments, he asked me to stay and take care of my (now late) grandmother and my mum.
To say that I didn't want to go to Kerteh was an understatement.
I remember praying to God specifically, 'God, please send me anywhere but Kerteh. Anywhere!'
When the offer letter came and I saw the 6 alphabets K-E-R-T-E-H, I was confused (I prayed, didn't I? Very fervently at that) and angry (Why does God want to send me so far away? Most of my friends hadn't even gotten any posting yet) and self-justified (I need to stay put in Kuching. My family needs me).
So, I turned down the offer. And essentially, broke my bond. (And stepped out of God's perfect will). That was 2005.
I spent 6 years in my wilderness. Yes, God has preserved and prospered me but I have to admit that Kuching was my wilderness. I knew something was amiss but I didn't know what was missing. Until I realised that God had wanted me in Kerteh.
When I escaped myself from God's perfect will in 2005, that hadn't changed His plan. He has other creative way to bring me to Kerteh still. 😅
Because, 6 years later, in 2011, God brought me, the Jonah, 'back' to Kerteh via my big fish - my husband.
Oct 2011, my husband and I got married and I followed him to where he was working at that time. Surprise, surprise! He had already been in Kerteh 5 years before we got married. (Don't tell me God is not almighty, all powerful, and creative and funny at the same time.)
In Kerteh, I met my Paul, Ps Ashok, and his lovely family.
And my walk with God has never been the same.
From the first Sunday that I met them in Kerteh Charismatic Assembly (KCA) to this day, this family has not stopped being a blessing to mine.
From the time I was a young wife to the time I had complications with my first pregnancy to the time I went through a season of darkness to now, my season of entering into more and more of God's fullness, my spiritual parents had always been journeying with us, praying for and with us, speaking life into every situation that we found ourselves in.
To this day, 11 years later, although our families are now separated far apart by the South China Sea, my apostle Paul still teaches, admonishes, encourages and edifies me.
Much like the apostle Paul in the Bible doing the same to his Timothy with his visits and epistles.
The funny thing is this - Ps Ashok and his family left Kerteh very shortly after I went there. I can't remember exactly when but I think they left roughly 6 months after I arrived. God had called them on to another country.
I remember telling God when they announced their plan to leave Malaysia - what a pity it is that I've met such a good teacher and preacher of the Word yet not being able to spend more time under his discipleship.
In hindsight, now, I see 2 things:
1) Had I obeyed God and came in 2005, I would have had spent 6 years under his direct teaching and guidance, instead of just 6 months! For that, I only had me, myself and I to reprimand. 😔
2) Yet God is abundantly full of grace. I was disobedient but He is ever merciful and gracious and patient. He made sure that I did not miss crossing path with my Paul and set me (or reset would be more accurate) back on the course that He has charted out for me all along.
Although I have always been thankful, I actually had never fully recognised the good work that my apostle Paul has unceasingly sown into my life.
Neither do I fully realise how much God loves me, in blessing me with not just an apostle Paul, in the form of a spiritual father but also giving me a spiritual mother, in the form of his wife. 😁
Late last year, I attended a cg where the leader asked everyone this question - Did you ever have a spiritual mentor who discipled you in your walk with God?
For me, mine was an easy and obvious answer - yes. And it was a truly thorough and long term discipleship.
It was only while listening to others' answers that I realised how blessed I am to have an apostle Paul. Because, for many, they only have someone mentoring them for a season, while, for some, they may not even have one.
That night, I remember thanking God for my apostle Paul. I remember thanking my apostle Paul for all the discipling he has sown and continues to sow.
And I remember praying that my apostle Paul will see a good fruit out of his Timothy.
So, here is a note of gratitude to my spiritual father (my apostle Paul) and my spiritual mother. (Although you are both far too young for the title. 😂)
I know the Holy Spirit is my best teacher. But, because of my own shortcomings 😂, at times the Holy Spirit had definitely needed some teaching aid in His class for me.
Thank you, Ps Ashok, for being so faithfully and diligently obeying the Holy Spirit in teaching, guiding and propelling me into the deep things of God. I pray that I have been and will always be a good Timothy. 😁
Thank you, sis Elizabeth. Your life showed and taught me what it is to be a godly woman, a godly wife and mother. And your prayer, wisdom and love has helped me to be that godly (I didn't say perfect 😅) woman with more ease and grace.
 |
| Source: Personal file |
And to you who are reading this, I pray that you would resonate with what I wrote, that you will be filled with thanksgiving and appreciation for your apostle Paul.
If you do not have one yet, I pray that this will stir your heart to hunger for (and pray for) an apostle Paul in your life. God will surely give you one.
May you find your apostle Paul and may you be a good Timothy.
Added on 12 Jul -
Looking back at how I (finally) came to meet my apostle Paul and his family, I felt the Holy Spirit wanting me to encourage someone this -
Beloved in Christ, do not be discouraged.
If you felt that you have missed God's will or plan for you or that you are living outside of God's will now, I am living proof that God's ways are creative and effective to bring you back to Him.
If you had felt condemned or unworthy for stepping out, stop. That emotion is not from and not of God. He loves you and wants you back.
And, if you earnestly desire to return to God's will, oh, beloved in Christ, just tell Him and trust Him. Our God redeems and restores.
Isaiah 55:8-11 comes to mind. God's ways and thoughts are higher than our ways and thoughts. Watch as He astounds you with ways beyond your imagination to bring you back under His will.
For My thoughts are not your thoughts,Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
And do not return there,
But water the earth,
And make it bring forth and bud,
That it may give seed to the sower
And bread to the eater,
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please,
And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.
